You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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