Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Randomize
