And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Randomize
