So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
This can only be settled by a dance off.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
