lets start a swedish sibling band together
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
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