You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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