OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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