You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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