hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
This is my gift to your gina
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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