Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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