id be glad to
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Randomize
