We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Randomize
