He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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