Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
