i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Randomize
