Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Randomize
