I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
The feeling are messing with the penis
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
