I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize