would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
