About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Randomize
