Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize