I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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