life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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