I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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