You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
