somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
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