Im at strip club and am horny
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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