do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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