Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
