I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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