She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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