You're completely useless in the revolution.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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