all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
