Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
