So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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