pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
