woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
