I puked a lego.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Terrible idea I love it
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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