Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
