Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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