so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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