FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Can vaginas get frostbite?
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Randomize
