I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
