he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Randomize
