here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
How external is "for external use only"?
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Randomize
