some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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