You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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