So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
