Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
