Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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