I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
