i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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