she kept yelling 'call me bella'
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
