She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
