I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
