Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
