yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
