I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
