There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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