Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
thus making me awesome and them whores
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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